Filed under: disjointed
ever had the feeling where a day goes on perfectly great and mundane as usual but a million thoughts are coursing through your head at the speed of light and you see flashing thoughts and ideas and you feel paranoid like someone’s looking at you through a pinhole camera hidden somewhere in the corners of the ceiling and your eyes are bursting with uncried tears but you can’t cry and you’re afraid to cry because you don’t have a reason to cry and all you can see is a random childhood memory you haven’t thought about in a million years and you don’t know what the fuck is going on fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck this.
Filed under: disjointed
identity.
we spend our entire life chasing satisfaction.
who ARE you? WHAT are you?
significance.
my train of thought is somewhat disjointed, and has been for the past few months. i keep pushing them aside and they manifest themselves in my subconscious. i keep telling myself not to think, and that everything will be fine, yet this nagging worry keeps trying to break the glass bubble i made.
i keep chasing nothingness. what IS nothingness? could it be something or nothing. could it be a state of mind. could it be something that is nothing. could it be nothing at all.
if so, what the fuck IS nothing.
Filed under: annoyed
in fifteen minutes, i have cut myself while trying to remove the skin of a butternut pumpkin for my vegetable soup, and then slammed the same hand into the refrigerator door.
high time i opened my small eyes.
i was hungry, and i made myself a snack. the snack turned out to be spaghetti with two kinds of cheese with heaps of garlic and and basil.
i comforted myself after i polished off everything, with this quote.
“Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.“
-Sophia Loren
food for thought, anyone?
Filed under: veg
in three days, i have finished 3 and a half zucchinis.
i am officially addicted to stir-frying zucchini. can anyone say YUM??? 
my first day as a lacto-ovo vegetarian. i don’t think i miss meat much though.
i’ve given this matter a great deal of thought. and i’m not doing this for health reasons, nor animal welfare reasons. i think there are some things we do inevitably with no explanation for it.
(although i will continue to eat normally as i would, when i eat out.) wait, wait, wait. don’t scoff. i stay home 95% of the time, so i will consume minimal meat.
wish me luck! will be posting a detailed menu of what i have consumed after my first week goes by successfully! (:
i want to eat oysters rockefeller at the original Antoine’s in New Orleans. Mad Men is the best tv series ever.
here i am, watching Le Voyage Du Ballon Rouge, wondering about all that happened, pondering about all our differences. i think i am a fool.
free will is a ridiculously simple concept to understand, yet factor in relationships and you get the concept warped beyond recognition in one psycho party’s fettered psyche.
it occurred to me, that one cannot force anyone to believe in something they do not want to believe in. one can strong-arm someone to acquiesce, albeit halfheartedly of a chore of their choice, but a belief is a fire within, chosen only by the metaphorical heart, and stuck there, weathering the storms and change.
yes, free will is indeed an easy concept to comprehend, but do you apply it correctly in direct correlation to relationships? in the absence of its application, a power struggle ensues, and a relationship without free will, is doomed to fail.
i think i paid a very dear price for this lesson, so friends, i hope you learn well.
