♥ vision of me and four ♥


deviant
April 25, 2009, 4:38 am
Filed under: confessions

bored.

/cranes neck



(un)forever
April 21, 2009, 1:01 am
Filed under: carefree, confessions

the kick is in the _____ .



school blues.
April 20, 2009, 3:59 pm
Filed under: annoyed, complaints

i need some kickass thai food and bubble tea.

/weeps
/groansihateschoolgroans



haruki
April 18, 2009, 1:23 am
Filed under: electrifying

Don’t you love that feeling when you finish a brilliant book and your mind is just blank with astonishment from the brilliance of the author? Murakami rocks my socks off, especially since i read books for prose(and plot).

Neways, here’s a passage from Pinball 1973, which i absofuckinglutely(say it the way Mr. Big says it in Sex and the City) love.

“Dreamily she closed her eyes and pressed against the Rat. From his shoulder on down, the Rat felt the supple weight of her body. An odd sensation, that weight. This being that could love a man, bear children, grow old, and die; to think one whole existence was in this weight. The Rat took a cigarette from his pack and lit up. Every once in a while a sea breeze would sweep up the slope from below and rustle the pine trees. Maybe she had really fallen asleep. The Rat put his hand to her cheek, then touched a fingertip to her lips. He felt her breath, warm and humid.”



Congo’s Mineral Wealth
April 17, 2009, 1:07 am
Filed under: annoyed, complaints, disgust

Have you ever thought about all the metals in your ipods, laptops, whatever parts in your whitegoods? Where they come from, where they’re mined, how much they cost….

How about Congo? It’s some African country smack in the middle of nowhere and you’ll never think about it or ever go there for a holiday, neither do you give a shit about the kids and women being (gang)raped by crazy brainwashed child soldiers and forced to contribute slave labor to mine(rob) the country of its precious minerals that ginormous corporations buy because of the low cost and ignore the “conflict mineral” tracing bullshit because they all want to minimize the costs and maximise their profits.

“Congo’s resource-fuelled 1998-2003 war and the humanitarian catastrophe it sparked have killed an estimated 5.4 million people over the past decade, making it the most lethal conflict since World War II.”

“Battle for Congo’s mineral assets”

“Coltan, the ‘blood mineral’ of Congo”

“Congo Mineral Riches One Step Closer to Being Unlocked”

“Congo Conflict Minerals – Frequently Asked Questions”

“Raise hope for Congo.”

So okay kids, I hope you clicked on those links. And even if Congo is facing some serious bs now, I hope you don’t buy gold from South Africa. Don’t buy conflict minerals yo! Stop this capitalism shit!

It annoys me to no end how I am only one person and we can’t do shit unless this issue gains awareness from all of us, so have a heart and stop letting that poor child get raped and forced into slavery. Have a heart, you piece of heartless shit.



dideeds
April 16, 2009, 4:02 am
Filed under: carefree

uncle billy’s, king’s park, burswood, (nude)north swanbourne beach, hillary’s, poker nights, movie nights….

in about two weeks, i’m going pescetarian(again).

life’s been calmer than i ever had in a year. and boy, do i feel good(and chubby). time to get that ass moving yo!



just a little late
April 12, 2009, 5:15 pm
Filed under: muse

after a long career on the internet, ask yourself what you have achieved. have you left a string of aliases and wasted bandwidth with your multiple email accounts and caused others trouble with your multiple msn accounts or have you been a good netizen and went mainstream with one email account, one alias, one youtube account, one facebook account, one friendster account, and you have no idea what the hell is LULLAR. is the internet a tool for you or is the internet as inanimate as the cup you drink from. do you surf grotesque pictures from ogrish and rotten.com or do you gawk and stream pornographic copulation from various websites and jack off, then delete the history as you feel ashamed after you spill your seed. or are you like me, psycho online stalker who views pictures of long-lost people over and over. are you one of the desperate male people who trawl the net for dating websites and sex or do you shun these ugly websites and trawl pubs instead for lonely girls. are you just in need of entertainment and a shameless pirate. perhaps you could be lonely, and you trawl forums and social networking sites for people(geeks) like you. how about the gamers you ask. pathetic wannabes who think a few arrow keys and a mouse makes them a soldier on a mission. what happened to good ol’ let’s-shoot-him-with-my-watergun. everybody wants something from the internet. i want to be my true self on the net, no masks, no keeping up appearances, no lies, no acting dumb, just me(and my keyboard).

ask yourself the underlying question, what do you want from the internet?



life goes on.
April 10, 2009, 7:14 am
Filed under: random musing[of the hour], warped

in true disjointed unpunctuated style fullstop

open parenthesis
when is enough how do we know how do we measure i said when is enough goddamnit fullstop ive skirted too many lines and crossed too many but i still cant tell you when is enough fullstop just like some days i feel beautiful and some days i feel revolting some days i feel like i know some days i feel like i know naught fullstop my philosophy in life used to be to try every damned thing that came my way no matter the consequences but when my hands are burnt beyond repair do i still try till i combust this entire shell or do i stop fullstop what do i do when irrationality burns me down and nobody will hold my burning hands and tame this raging fire fullstop even when my hair singes and an acrid smoke clouds the air i cant stop no i just cant stop i cant i cant i cant i cant fullstop will i not stop until i am charred beyond recognition fullstop underneath this shell is a heart blazing with ellipses ellipses ellipses unmetaphorically speaking my heart cant blaze but have you ever had those instances where you just felt it pardon me ellipses flagrate question mark love me my heart and stop fullstop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop smothering me i am suffocating i cant breathe i cant breathe no i cant stop i cant stop stop me stop me stop me fullstop
close parenthesis

end of true disjointed unpunctuated style fullstop



bust
April 9, 2009, 2:21 am
Filed under: annoyed

life’s naughty to play such games with me. i’m just a girl.



you found me.
April 7, 2009, 8:43 pm
Filed under: love

seems like ages since you found me. four years. time flies. remember when we were together and we dreamed of building our crime empire and a fortress together and having kids from palestine and israel and vietnam and cambodia……………

happy 26th birthday, you’ll always be 18 in my heart.

emily fiona heng feng pei, i hope you’ll always be happy. i’ll always love you. and those pink lips.

<333



beat a carpet
April 6, 2009, 2:45 am
Filed under: confessions, disjointed

at last the house looks like a house, a home-cooked meal looks and tastes like a home-cooked meal, and a bedroom really looks like a bedroom.

clean red bedsheets, clothes strewn all over, makeup on the mantelshelf; anyone?

such a big bed, empty without you.

goodnight.



dreary.
April 3, 2009, 4:42 am
Filed under: carefree

i still stand by my dream when i was eighteen and foolish. all i really want from life is a beautiful daughter and a library to call my own. the days may age me, but deep down inside, digging past my black curtains of filth, deceit, and shame, is a little girl who cares about nothing but the ending of roald dahl’s Matilda.



lying on myself.
April 3, 2009, 1:23 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

i’m not psycho. promise.



losing it.
April 1, 2009, 7:42 pm
Filed under: confessions

walking that slow jaunt in town every building looks the same every face on the street looks the same every dress looks the same every bus looks the same every bus looks like it goes to the same place hell hell hell! i watch a grossly obese lady walk slowly with her enormous belly jiggling along and i feel like giving a kick to her solar plexus and seeing her reaction not that she can feel anything and i feel thankful, thankful to be asian and petite and unlike the rest of this country of misfits. white white white everyone subscribes to the white-god-supremacy ideal and comes flying here on a jetplane and we all get disappointed when we see white trash sweeping the streets and scooping our ice-creams and doing our pedicures white people are not infallible they are just human like us. my feet yell in pain stop stop stop stop stop bitch stop walking but i ignore my feet and i keep walking until the pain is excruciating and i hear them yell at me until the voice in my head is overwhelmed.

and the yelling is quelled by one surreptitious cup of bubble tea, asian goodness in a cup.



less is more.
April 1, 2009, 12:00 am
Filed under: carefree, complaints

someone asked me my age today.

i want to be a face in the crowd of strangers, ageless, faceless, nameless. perhaps all i am is a pretty store-bought dress and a bad temper.

i’m suffering from verbal diarrhea but i shall desist.
goodnight and goodbye.

happy april fool’s. tell me something false and i’ll tell you something true that sounds like something false.