♥ vision of me and four ♥

because i know you will read this.

i haven’t replied to a single message for the past two weeks for the obvious reasons.

i think what is most important in a relationship is that both parties are happy. and for obvious selfish reasons, everybody wants to be happy in a relationship, or else it is void.

for the past sex months, we’ve tried multiple ways for both of us to be happy, but to no avail. any rational person would get out of this cycle of abuse and unhappiness. it does not matter who loves who, because love can only get us so far. you say you love me. but so what? do you give in to me? do you stop verbally abusing me? do you make me happy?

let me answer that for you. NO YOU DON’T.

i don’t care if you label me another lisa. i don’t care if you whine and say i’m cruel for moving on. i don’t give a flying fuck when you bring up love, because a relationship isn’t about LOVE. it’s about effort, and trust, GODDAMNIT.

DO YOU PUT IN EFFORT?
DO YOU TRUST ME?
NO, YOU ASSHOLE.

ALL YOU DO EVERYDAY IS COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW LOUSY OF A GIRLFRIEND I AM, WHEN YOU DON’T SEE YOUR FLAWS.

let me tell you this, go read your sister’s wedding pictorial book, and look at all the quotes inside on how to make a relationship work. you go on and on about how you want to be like your sister, who had a magical eleven-year relationship with her first boyfriend and how she’s happily married with a son now. well guess what, adisuwiryo? relationships don’t just drop out of heaven like that. they need work, effort, and trust.

i think i’d rather have a relationship with a plant than continue with you. you know why?

because you whine like a woman, and you think you’re God’s gift to me, which negates all your flaws, and exacerbates mine. i’m tired of reading your abusive texts to me, so please stop. i delete them anyway, so stop wasting your father’s money, rich as you/he may be.

please. leave me alone. i’m done with you threatening to be with someone else. because honestly, just go. you wanna know what my ideal boyfriend is like?

clearly you didn’t know me at all.

because you have no idea. i can’t stand everything about you. i can’t stand how you distrust me, i can’t stand how you check my phone, i can’t stand how you keep making sounds with your tongue, i can’t stand how you get angry over the tiniest things, i can’t stand how you can say the shittiest things to me, i can’t stand how you won’t even take a plane ride here.

FOR MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY. i have to fly to singapore, but you don’t have to fly to australia? well, all i can say is that again, you think you’re God’s gift to me, which you are NOT. you think you’re so wonderful, then spread yourself around, and spare me the trouble. i’d rather spend the money on more clothes for myself than fly back to singapore for you.

go fuck yourself.
goodnight. i feel so much better already.
you want nasty, i’ll give you nasty.