inexplicably drawn to this web of deceit hedonism obsession. sometimes i can’t tell the difference because the line begins to blur and everything just descends into fucking red red red red black black black black black and i can’t fucking see shit but i just keep walking into the fucking heat and i feel all the despondence oozing out of my every pore and then sadism washes into every fucking pore and i can’t stop no i can’t fucking stop because every fly’s eye has you on their mind, him on her mind, me on his mind, you on my mind, do you get me. i would lie to have you, but really, what the fuck do i mean by lie. lie lie lie i would lie for this i would lie for that. when you think about what the word lie really means, maybe i’m not such a nice person after all. every conscience is like a white cloth. over all the fucking untruths and unsavory sublime things we do, at the end of our fucking insignificant lives, we all die with a black cloth. so really, what IS the point of it all. don’t you feel like takahashi in a murakami book. with tentacles dragging us down deeper and deeper into the sea of black ink.
i think i’m okay now.
beating lights beating my eyes my skin my body pumping loud music into every pore pumping my blood pumping me into oblivion i’m in a box i can’t get out i want to be miss sunshine i want to screech in joy i want wear yellow and orange and dance but this is winter and every dark inside of every bloody person surfaces.
wait.
stop.
listen.
can you hear me. you read this bloody entry on your computer screen from miles away can you feel my eyes droning into this text you’re reading right now. can you feel the trance beating through my fingers as i type to the rhythm of the beat.
no, you bastards. can you smell the smoke in my mouth. can you smell my peach body butter. can you can you can you. bitch.
ok. time out from my psycho-moment.
have a good day, fuckshit!
Have you ever thought about all the metals in your ipods, laptops, whatever parts in your whitegoods? Where they come from, where they’re mined, how much they cost….
How about Congo? It’s some African country smack in the middle of nowhere and you’ll never think about it or ever go there for a holiday, neither do you give a shit about the kids and women being (gang)raped by crazy brainwashed child soldiers and forced to contribute slave labor to mine(rob) the country of its precious minerals that ginormous corporations buy because of the low cost and ignore the “conflict mineral” tracing bullshit because they all want to minimize the costs and maximise their profits.
“Battle for Congo’s mineral assets”
“Coltan, the ‘blood mineral’ of Congo”
“Congo Mineral Riches One Step Closer to Being Unlocked”
“Congo Conflict Minerals – Frequently Asked Questions”
So okay kids, I hope you clicked on those links. And even if Congo is facing some serious bs now, I hope you don’t buy gold from South Africa. Don’t buy conflict minerals yo! Stop this capitalism shit!
It annoys me to no end how I am only one person and we can’t do shit unless this issue gains awareness from all of us, so have a heart and stop letting that poor child get raped and forced into slavery. Have a heart, you piece of heartless shit.
i’m so sick of your bullshit, P.
after your break-up, you’re this nonsense moping mess who refuses to go to xxx place just because your stupid, violent, ex-girlfriend is there. i’m not going to be nice like D and say avoidance is best and lying low will not exacerbate things, but you know someday your psycho ex will manipulate simple and nice D and a confrontation will happen.
you won’t like what i’m saying, but being a coward, cowering down to one miserable stick of an ex-girlfriend isn’t YOU.
so what? you’re going to lie low all the thursdays until everything is “fine”? you know it’s never going to be “fine” until you face off with her. even if she raises her hands to slap you, you know your friends will be there for you, you know nothing can happen to you.
so yeah. write all you want on your mummyblog that you wanna go party(when you’re staying home MOPING), and go to straight clubs(which you detest) to avoid that psycho ex.
fucking nonsense lezzie drama. sheesh wake up! you think this is THE L WORD? zomg just go out, have fun, and if she comes to wreck your night, tell her off, and move on, chug on, NEW LIFE BABY! even if she lays her hands on you, don’t be afraid to bring it all the way to the cops; don’t be a pussy anymore.
live your life, you know you deserve it, dammit.
and you know i’m a bitch and i’m being brutally honest because i love you. <333 wake up and smell the roses, friend(she’s just a girl).
love you. always.
it’s really quite sad because after so long you dress like a cheap slut and you’re still dating the ah bengs. and you’re so pretty it’s so sad how cheap you look. and you call me fat(slut!).
ten years later you’ll be stuck with your ah beng boyfriend saying cheap nothings and you’ll be fat and haggard and cheap from your nonsense.
you have no idea how i bump into our mutual friends at the club and start bitching about what a wannabe you are over white wine and champagne. you try too hard darling.
no wonder you get tossed around the various spiky-haired ah bengs. not to mention you’re the biggest cheapskate ever. i loathe cheapskates.
i have no idea how we used to be FRIENDS. sheesh.
