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when is enough how do we know how do we measure i said when is enough goddamnit fullstop ive skirted too many lines and crossed too many but i still cant tell you when is enough fullstop just like some days i feel beautiful and some days i feel revolting some days i feel like i know some days i feel like i know naught fullstop my philosophy in life used to be to try every damned thing that came my way no matter the consequences but when my hands are burnt beyond repair do i still try till i combust this entire shell or do i stop fullstop what do i do when irrationality burns me down and nobody will hold my burning hands and tame this raging fire fullstop even when my hair singes and an acrid smoke clouds the air i cant stop no i just cant stop i cant i cant i cant i cant fullstop will i not stop until i am charred beyond recognition fullstop underneath this shell is a heart blazing with ellipses ellipses ellipses unmetaphorically speaking my heart cant blaze but have you ever had those instances where you just felt it pardon me ellipses flagrate question mark love me my heart and stop fullstop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop smothering me i am suffocating i cant breathe i cant breathe no i cant stop i cant stop stop me stop me stop me fullstop
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i envy the innocence of childhood.
i brought hailey down to feed the fish in the water feature downstairs, and it really is heartwarming to see a child fling pieces of bread into the water and see her smile at the fish fighting for bread.
her face lights up with laughter and her hands come to me outstretched for more bread. it brings a smile to my face, even if i express annoyance when she puts her hands into the water to try and move the bread that the fish fail to see(and eat). i miss the days where i used to do that too.
being an older sister makes me panic when she does that, and i screech warnings of WATER PARASITES and DIRTY at her, even if she doesn’t understand a word of what i say and continues to to splash water at me.
of course, i make a mental note to tell the maid to give her a thorough washing of her hands with anti-bacterial soap……………………..
i long for a hailey of my own too.
(with two dimples and my nose and eyes)
Filed under: random musing[of the hour]
i have a new theory on relationships(so sex in the city right).
The Cockroach Theory states that for a relationship to start and be remotely successful, at least one party must be unafraid of cockroaches(and willing to kill them). If both parties are afraid of cockroaches, then the relationship will be doomed from the start.
okay. i know i’m the worst person to expound anything on relationships because i leave after one month, but who cares. the underlying theory is that two wimps cannot be together.
imissyou.
