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when is enough how do we know how do we measure i said when is enough goddamnit fullstop ive skirted too many lines and crossed too many but i still cant tell you when is enough fullstop just like some days i feel beautiful and some days i feel revolting some days i feel like i know some days i feel like i know naught fullstop my philosophy in life used to be to try every damned thing that came my way no matter the consequences but when my hands are burnt beyond repair do i still try till i combust this entire shell or do i stop fullstop what do i do when irrationality burns me down and nobody will hold my burning hands and tame this raging fire fullstop even when my hair singes and an acrid smoke clouds the air i cant stop no i just cant stop i cant i cant i cant i cant fullstop will i not stop until i am charred beyond recognition fullstop underneath this shell is a heart blazing with ellipses ellipses ellipses unmetaphorically speaking my heart cant blaze but have you ever had those instances where you just felt it pardon me ellipses flagrate question mark love me my heart and stop fullstop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop smothering me i am suffocating i cant breathe i cant breathe no i cant stop i cant stop stop me stop me stop me fullstop
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Filed under: complaints, confessions, disgust, explanatory, joy!, love, warped
i could run away from knowing everything and something and some things but secretly i think everything i do is a self-destructive attempt not to love and be loved. i am so afraid of falling into my huge pit of self-doubt and men, men, men! two-faced basilisks i fear no heights no insects no rodents just your venom. with no knowledge nada nobody really knows a snake is venomous till it bares its fangs and sinks them into your thigh femural arteries so sexy hannibal lecter knife sex blood sex blood driving me insane venom men snakes love, love snakes, love, snakes, men, sex, blood, venom. trust faith trust faith blind jump pit black pitch-black fear innocuous. love, sex, hotel, sex, love, hotel, love hotel, love hotels.
i’m not making sense nobody does who decides whats sensible and whats not and i could rant and write and rave and scream but can you hear my insides yelling behind the screen of this black macbook can you can you can you can you can you.
my every cell protests against this irrational feeling emotion whatchamacallit and yes it is unnatural beyond reason beyond comprehension what IS reason what IS comprehension nobody really knows nobody knows if im making sense nobody knows what is sense someone define everything in a handbook and mass-publish it and burn all the nonsensical philosophy books i don’t read and don’t have the brain cells to even try.
after so much gibberish, i just wanted to say.
i love you too.
and i know i shouldn’t.
but nonetheless,
iloveyou.
