♥ vision of me and four ♥


mindfuck
July 29, 2009, 3:01 am
Filed under: carefree, confessions, disgust, electrifying, warped

i confess my growing, gnawing fondness. i know i should stop, but no, this impending self-destruction smells so sweet, like blood in the air, like the taste of a cigarette on my lips.

how would you like me, clad in shame on a silver platter, on your doorstep.

i know this will end badly. yet i dig the knife deeper into my thigh and scream for more.

.i.can’t.fucking.stop.
.can’t.fucking.stop.
.fucking.stop.
.stop.



life goes on.
April 10, 2009, 7:14 am
Filed under: random musing[of the hour], warped

in true disjointed unpunctuated style fullstop

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when is enough how do we know how do we measure i said when is enough goddamnit fullstop ive skirted too many lines and crossed too many but i still cant tell you when is enough fullstop just like some days i feel beautiful and some days i feel revolting some days i feel like i know some days i feel like i know naught fullstop my philosophy in life used to be to try every damned thing that came my way no matter the consequences but when my hands are burnt beyond repair do i still try till i combust this entire shell or do i stop fullstop what do i do when irrationality burns me down and nobody will hold my burning hands and tame this raging fire fullstop even when my hair singes and an acrid smoke clouds the air i cant stop no i just cant stop i cant i cant i cant i cant fullstop will i not stop until i am charred beyond recognition fullstop underneath this shell is a heart blazing with ellipses ellipses ellipses unmetaphorically speaking my heart cant blaze but have you ever had those instances where you just felt it pardon me ellipses flagrate question mark love me my heart and stop fullstop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop smothering me i am suffocating i cant breathe i cant breathe no i cant stop i cant stop stop me stop me stop me fullstop
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end of true disjointed unpunctuated style fullstop