i feel a quiet elation blooming inside, slowly spreading its cheer to every bit of me. you make so glad to call you mine.

perhaps i am not good enough, perhaps i was foolish enough to believe those words…

the clock is ticking, and i am more anxious than ever. only you know what alleviates my anxious soul. only you know what makes me sleep soundly at night.

’tis a pity you will never read this, d. not like you care.

today, i was going for dinner @ northbridge with my housemates, before we got into the car, i was talking and then suddenly reuben accidentally slammed the car door on my left hand. fuck 7 seaters. zzzzzzz i swear all the houses within earshot of the car could hear me yell likr a mfing pussy.

knn………

i learnt a lesson today.

never bring your white(Caucasian, to be politically correct) friend to have dim sum with you. they watch you with trepidation the whole meal.

MUCH, MUCH, safer to have something boring like… pancakes… or… pasta?

i am much amused.

hi ex-boyfriend. googling for yourself on my blog four times in a day is so NOT cool.

you do realize i can see search terms on google that re-direct to my blog?

you are a very stupid person.

today some white people drove past and yelled “SUSHI!” at me. i confess my vague amusement.

ever had the feeling where a day goes on perfectly great and mundane as usual but a million thoughts are coursing through your head at the speed of light and you see flashing thoughts and ideas and you feel paranoid like someone’s looking at you through a pinhole camera hidden somewhere in the corners of the ceiling and your eyes are bursting with uncried tears but you can’t cry and you’re afraid to cry because you don’t have a reason to cry and all you can see is a random childhood memory you haven’t thought about in a million years and you don’t know what the fuck is going on fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck this.

identity.

we spend our entire life chasing satisfaction.

who ARE you? WHAT are you?

significance.

my train of thought is somewhat disjointed, and has been for the past few months. i keep pushing them aside and they manifest themselves in my subconscious. i keep telling myself not to think, and that everything will be fine, yet this nagging worry keeps trying to break the glass bubble i made.

i keep chasing nothingness. what IS nothingness? could it be something or nothing. could it be a state of mind. could it be something that is nothing. could it be nothing at all.

if so, what the fuck IS nothing.

in fifteen minutes, i have cut myself while trying to remove the skin of a butternut pumpkin for my vegetable soup, and then slammed the same hand into the refrigerator door.

high time i opened my small eyes.