shades of funny

So I spent a Friday night watching 50 Shades with my friend. I think the fact it was set in Seattle made it significantly more boring, seeing as how it’s really snooze city. For what it’s worth, it was a crap movie, but he did hold her hand heaps, and that’s a great quality in a partner.


I spent a whole day with my baby niece. I forgot how nice it was to care for a little child – how heart-warming it is when a child rests her head against oneself. I also forgot how nice babies smell. It is all too easy to be frustrated with a young child and her demands, but one smile or chuckle makes it all go away. Is it worthwhile? Maybe. Loving someone, family or not, terrifies me.

Opening up means being hurt, and opening up to different types of people means getting hurt in different ways I cannot even begin to imagine. I am really just lily livered.

Calculating my Life

For the past one year, I’ve been metaphorically chasing my tail in my head, wondering what is it exactly I want to do in life, what I should work as, and whether my job should fulfil me. I’ve come to a conclusion – will explain further.

I realized that I have thinking about it the wrong way. Why should my job make me feel adequate/inadequate? A job is not me. It’s really just something we all do, like it or not. I am made out of more things than my job. I don’t believe now, that I need to derive fulfilment or joy from my job, simply because we don’t work forever. The ultimate goal is to be happy, and what makes everyone happy differs largely.

It hit me, that I don’t have to work. Work is really being part of society and the economy, generating products or services for remuneration, as part of an investment of society. What if I could stop working in my mid or late thirties? What if I could be productive in other ways I couldn’t be now, because of financial constraints? What if I didn’t want to be productive at all? I’d like to spend the first six months of zero work just bumming around at home, reading books, watching tv, that’s real leisure. That’s real freedom. Of course, I’d have to do something for the rest of my life, and I think I’d devote it to a number of pursuits… Sartorial, academic, maybe even family, if I happen to have any brats…

I stumbled upon this personal finance blog espousing the benefits and the possibility of early retirement. Long story short, as long as one has 25x one’s annual expenditure in cash (incl. rent/mortgage), with or without a fully paid home, one is able to retire, with some simple investments.

I am 26 this year (gawd I’m growing old), and I have a few ideas about retirement will be like. Getting there financially, assuming a modest 3% salary increment each year, disregarding major promotions and any really big increments, will take me 11 – 13 years. The housing bit will be a big struggle, but seeing as I pay no rent now, it will be a good time to accumulate my first nest egg and let it roll over.

I told a couple of friends about my Plan, and reactions were mixed. Some were skeptical about what I would do in early retirement, some laughed at the idea of early retirement, and some were skeptical I could save enough… A few friends also told me finding a rich husband and becoming a taitai would be less effort (what if I never find a husband, let alone a rich one?!). I don’t get why everyone is so afraid of the idea of freedom (and financial freedom), when most people are slaves to their jobs and work stress. I also think that most girls think too lowly of themselves.

I thought about it, and decided the biggest achievement I can attain after completing university, is not taking a single cent from my father, and save, earn, and invest my own way into retirement. If I can do it by 35, awesome. If I can do it by 39, still great. 45? Still out of the rat race earlier than most. The biggest possible stumbling block would be having kids, seeing as how expensive they are, will likely derail my plan by a bit. But who knows?

A girl’s gotta plan for herself. Boyfriend or no boyfriend, husband or not, my life plan goes on.

It isn’t easy – the struggle between materialism and freedom, but I promise myself I will try. My austerity drive starts after CNY!

nostalgia worth its weight in gold

I was reminiscing with my Aunt Jennifer all the places she used to take me when I was a kid.

Someday, with my future permanent partner, I’d like to do a series of nostalgia dates. Dinners at The Ship restaurant, Marriot Cafe…

‘Tis a pity the Kallang seafood area’s been torn down. I want to go all the remaining places before they’re all gone, just like a Singapore era long gone, having given way to the new shiny kid on the block.

My earworm of late. This song just reminds me of daydreamy thoughts. On a plane into the darkness, I leap off the wing, into a dark pool of clouds, and emerge to find the rainbow’s end, and inside the pot of gold is a myriad of colors I inhale and find myself transported into the rabbit’s hole, where there is an orchard of cotton candy trees and chocolate garlic soil. I eat and eat soil and there are mushrooms within and I see emotion radiating from the sky – red, gold, green, gray. I cry and ink comes floating from my eyes.